Not A Photoshop

ferrariguy · 07-17-2006, 03:24 PM

but the stupidest thing ever written. i didnt write it.

July 17, 2006

I love to shoot stuff it is lots of fun. And that’s why Colonel Campbell is a cat-machine toastering the moon. Therefore my dog will be free to splinter the anger weasel with the guitar while eating the tooth paste. Although number 3 is now a snaggle bag, I still want to kill her and eat her bones. But the happy dog-maestro is not in agreement with my philosophy that Hitler’s nismo powered washing machine holds the key to the futurama!!! But why? You ask well its simple you see. Oxygen -----------oxy!! Get it lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Spy on my dog’s rectum to find the bagel with the extra cheese on its taco. And during the aftermath a new super-hero/religion arose… IT WAS CAMPBELLISM!!!!!!! The only holy relics we have so far are 1’ 6” tall bronze statue of the colonel himself and a 34 years old washing machine with a dead goat stuck in it. But we shall soon arise to be more powerful than the Catholic Church. Then when all this is done I will assassinate the very man which I created. Creating havoc among the civilization on the moon. Which I have painted black in order to shield it from its own rays. But alas my arch rival chair-face Chippendale has challenged me to a duel in which we will fight with chairs and refrigerators. I just wonder when I will be able to see my colostomy-bag attack and destroy all humans with the same fury I cook jambalaya. Then I will order a movie from netflixxx. Then I will appoint the blobby one as my number one toaster in law. In order to obtain the gold wonder ball from Willy Wonka’s ***. The barren wasteland between the rectum and dat phone is an unhappy one. I am a brilliant master physicist with a gold tooth for an idiot son. Dis ist nischt sehr gut. Vat dea ficken bein ich sprezchen? JA now to sea-world so I can swim with your mother. 11 days from now terror will rain down from the sky in the form of flying caterpillars. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That’s my happy laugh. Want to hear it again? Here it goes MUAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHxaxaxioujijfio; oiwhjg!!!!!!! Yummy chicken wings are finger banging good. Although I detest this myth I believe it to be slightly british in other words it must die. Along with bill Crosby’s evil chocolate bar which I withheld for questioning at the state fair. Damn kid now batmen is on to me. If only I could destroy the diabolical Canadians represented by Travis!!!!! I might have a chance at conquering the Cuban observatory. Unless I am thwarted by the emo techno that the evil porn mistress Nicky listens to. The united toilet bowl cleaners association of America has decided to put a stop to people annihilating the ancient scriptures written inside the very throne that you sit on by their ancestors. And now that my anti-matter toilet paper has a reason to defy me I shall destroy it with a 2x4 and a spoon made of slimy cheese. But that is what you would expect isn’t it? *pukes several times* damn you are hideous I like that in a woman.

Mike Minnillo · 07-17-2006, 03:34 PM

WTF? where did you find this, and why did you post it? i could feel the brain cells jumping out of my head while i was reading that.

Cashman · 07-17-2006, 03:53 PM

my head started hurtin before I even finished the first line..

joemomma95 · 07-17-2006, 04:25 PM

Some sort of explanation on this would be helpful in your post, it in no way makes any sense to anyone. I'm moving it to general, and closing it if there isn't further explanation on it...

eclipsed at 3am · 07-17-2006, 06:15 PM

looks like free-association writing. you just write down the first things that pop into your head. supposed to bring out the real YOU.

or maybe its the first of many clues that lead to a secret treasure!

mad::matt · 07-17-2006, 10:25 PM

Free association my arse. Whoever wrote that was ****** off his tits.

Carty · 07-18-2006, 03:15 AM

no.. its in free association style... look at how the topic bounces all over the place but comes back to a common theme a few times... my guess is the write was eating some sort of cambells soup.. maybe has a nismo picture nearby, but this looks like free association... I wrote a free association piece once, it was like 6 pages long it was for school

brasher · 07-18-2006, 08:11 PM

I just lost 40 IQ points reading that.

That was terrible engrish!

TechChild · 07-18-2006, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brasher

I just lost 40 IQ points reading that.

That was terrible engrish!

So how many do you have now?

Carty · 07-18-2006, 11:32 PM

12 approximately

ferrariguy · 07-21-2006, 12:18 PM

well. i'll explain. first i found it surfing the web, but i cant remember where. being the retard that i am, i thought it was funny. so when i got really bored i posted it on here.

BL-Z · 07-21-2006, 12:43 PM

Quote:

I love to shoot stuff it is lots of fun. And that’s why Colonel Campbell is a cat-machine toastering the moon. Therefore my dog will be free to splinter the anger weasel with the guitar while eating the tooth paste.

this is when my brain blew up!